The Greatest Gift

Normally I try to create new posts centered around cute pictures of the kids, or reports on the newest and funnest happenings at the Hansen house...but today I just have write down a semi horrid and yet beautiful parenting and spiritual lesson that I learned today....

It's mother's day 2013, I'm 36 weeks pregnant-achy and exhausted going on day 3 of John being out of town (as I type this he's just pulled in to Corpus Christi Texas....2,100 miles and 33 hours of driving away from us here in Moscow Idaho) My patience has worn thin, and having just spent a week on bed rest, away from my children at my aunt's house in Spokane...I'm trying to adjust to basically being a mother again! We learned last summer with John traveling so much that day 3 of him being gone marks the beginning of emotional mania (that lasts for about 3 days)...having learned this pattern last year, the following situation should have gone MUCH differently....HOWEVER...the end result is so incredibly priceless, that I wouldn't change a thing......

I had just dressed the children, and was ready to walk out the door to church when Carter announced she needed to go potty....we've been stressing independence and doing things for herself...she has a phobia that her dress will go in the potty, and therefore decided that she needed help taking it off....basically we went round and round and round arguing about the dress (a total pick your battles moment) I kept trying to show her different ways to remedy the problem without taking it off, the further we got into it the more emotional and frustrated we both got...in my mind I was thinking "Good golly I'm just trying to help you learn this easy skill that is essential for all dress wearing girls" and "I'll be darned if I'm going to take off the dress I just put on you, just to put it back on you in 2 minutes".....in her mind I imagine something like this "I really don't want my dress to go in the toilet (ewe gross) why won't mom just help me, I can't undo the ties and the buttons by myself...she's getting mad and scaring me, and gosh darn it I can't stop crying because I miss my dad"

Finally I got so sick of trying to explain why I wanted her to try to leave the dress on, and the multiple ways she could accomplish that, I spun her around swatted her bum and sent her upstairs to "figure it out" because I wasn't going to help her take her dress off (real mature I know...I find that putting her in a pickle like that is usually the best way to get her to realize how capable she actually is, and it usually works)... she stomped up the stairs, slammed the bathroom door while screaming that she wanted a different mom, and missed her dad....a few minutes later after I thought I'd regained my patience I hear her scream that she broke her dress....fuming I marched up the stairs to find that she had indeed ripped the ties out of the sides of her dress...I'd finally had it, I put her on the potty while holding her dress and tried talking her down and out of her melt down (nice try mom!) the melt down continued all the way to the car and all the way to church....."My legs are too tired to walk....the car seat hurts me....I don't like this music...you make me sad....I miss my dad".....That's finally when it hit me....I really had been a mean mom, and truly broken her heart....and the base of it all was that we were both tired and missing John....I felt truly shameful for not showing a Christ like love and patience in her moment of turmoil....

I started sobbing along with her and had to pull the car over, my huge pregnant self climbed into the very back seat of the van where I could reach her, and as best I could I embraced her and apologized for being so mean, I had to explain how I get grumpy, frustrated and angry too when I miss Daddy and that I would try very hard, and ask Heavenly Father to help me be more patient and nice, we were able to talk about missing Daddy and how sad we would continue to be until we got to be with him...of course being the most beautiful and forgiving creature on earth, through sobs and tears she told me it was ok, and that she'd like to snuggle me at church (talk about feeling undeserving)....she still cried the rest of the way to church, and all the way in to the church...so we had to take 5 in the mother's room to finish calming down...in the end she was "Too tired to walk to the chapel" and too heavy for me to carry (since technically I'm still on bed rest) Finally the Spirit whispered a simple solution to our problem, and then  I explained to her....."Carter, if we go into the chapel, and sit with our church family, and sing the songs and listen to the prayers we will both feel better...she immediately stopped crying looked at me thoughtfully and said "You're right mom, let's go sit in the chapel"....how inspiring and tender for a little girl to recognize the sweet peace and comfort that the Holy Spirit can give to us if we choose to stand in holy places, what an amazing opportunity to teach about obedience, church attendance, surrounding ourselves with good friends and the power of spiritual music and of prayer....

The rest of church carried on as normal...blessedly Owen went to nursery without too much of a fuss and was well behaved and Carter marched happily off to primary with her friends....later I got a report from the Primary president that she gave the "cutest prayer"....I started crying the minute I heard these words.... she said "Please bless Daddy and keep him safe...and Thank you for my Mommy loves me SO much!"

How is it that these little children are so wise! Here I was trying to teach a lesson about peeing without your dress falling into the toilet...and she ended up teaching me about forgiveness, tenderness and love? We are SO incredibly blessed to have these sweet children, among us.........really this day could have continued to go down hill, but I received the greatest gift of forgiveness from a 4 yr old, and that really is best thing that I could have received this mother's day!

Learning and growing

A few of our favorite "kid things" as of late!

O: "Mawny...yee haw?....Mawny..yee haw pease?"

Translation..."Mommy, I want to ride my horse yee haw that Nana gave me and sis for our birthdays, will you help me get up and down?"

O: "Thhhisss....Thhissy" = Sis...Sissy

O: "Uh oh, Thissy cry"

O: "NO WAY" (Loud and clear!)

***Owen is the funniest dude ever, most people only ever see his VERY serious, VERY shy, VERY angry and aggressive side...HOWEVER amidst his tantrums and angry spells that you just have to ignore (there's no talking him down or out of his anger) he's the sweetest little boy that is trying SOOOO hard to be a good brother and nice friend...he loves to dance, he loves to sing, he loves to be silly and dress up with his sister, he loves to read books, and to play rough with cars and trains...my ABSOLUTE most FAVORITE thing about this kid is how he often speaks in what we classify as dinosaur...quite often he'll only respond in a deep gravelly, growly voice that sits between big beast and slightly demonic sounding...his laugh usually follows suit with an evil deep cackle that came from I DON'T KNOW where...but I LOVE IT, it cracks me up every time!!! He's beginning to learn to "Do his part" and "Be responsible" phrases heard often around our house, he loves to help put dishes away or load the dishwasher, and if in a decent mood is a GREAT picker upper of toys, a great duster and window clean and floor scrubber!!! Maybe the sweetest and most endearing thing about this boy are his facial expressions, from silly to serious, angry to sweet this boy can melt his momma's heart with an impish grin thrown over his shoulder, or a sad little pup pout with those BIG brown eyes, but best of all are those sweet little "I love you" eyes that look up at me when in a rare moment of peace and quiet we snuggle together until he falls asleep!

Now for Miss Carter Grace, my silly sassy nutkin....where to begin?!!!

C: "Mom come see where I hanged the Jesus picture in my room"

Me: "Ok...oh nice, I love how you put it right above your bed, but where's the cupcake picture that was there?"

C: "I put it in my closet for safe keeping"

Me: "Who taught you how to say safe keeping?" (I've never said it)

C: "Um, Jesus told me"

C: "You are my sunshine, my only sunshine, you make me happy when skies are blue"

C: "You raise me up...so I can be with you..." (Sung in her loudest, operatic voice to match Josh Groban)

C: (While lounging in the bath) "Mom, I'm just so laxed right now"

C: "Mom, chipmunks don't have bones"

***There are so many other cute and wonderful things she's said lately, but my brain just can't find them right now...I'm loving each new stage we roll into with her, it gets me excited for Owen's development over the years!!! Some days I SWEAR I can see the wheels turning in her little head, it's curiously fun to follow her thought process, I'm no longer able to always stay one step ahead of her because her brain clicks and moves SO fast, but I love the opportunities we find to sit and talk! Now that she's in preschool and learning SO many fundamentals that I should have could have been teaching her at home, I tend to focus more on spiritual discussions with her, today we discussed Jesus, and how he died on the cross...her lesson in primary was about  Easter, and she told me how it made her sad that the mean men put Jesus on the cross, and how after he died the angel moved the big rock and Mary went to see him but he wasn't there any more...not too long ago my sister and brother in law treated us to ice cream and we were able to discuss how kind and generous it was that they used their money to buy our treat, and that we should be kind too..."Just like Jesus" she reminded me! We've done so good at establishing family prayer, before we went to visit Nana Carter prayed every night for sunny weather so she could play on Nana's big yellow slide...and wouldn't you know it...we got to have a little talk about how God hears and answers our prayers; the ENTIRE week we were at Nana's we got to play outside on the big yellow slide!!!

She's such a spunky gal, she loves going to school and seeing her friends, she loves her rock collection and helping mom cook, but these days isn't as enchanted with cleaning! She reminds us every day how big and grown up she is, and when in trouble her automated response is "Owen did it"...she loves to sing VERY loudly (causing the church congregation to chuckle!) and can shake her booty like a pop star, she has an imagination that knows no bounds and will still spend hours playing with random objects that mystically become the "mom' and "dad" of whatever game she fancies. She's a very sensitive little girl, who wears her heart on her sleeve, there's a sweet innocence in her soft and glowing features that's absolutely endearing, she has big dark eyes that I swear can see into the depths of my soul and that are certainly knowing beyond her years....when she's peacefully asleep her features turn rosy soft, and I'm shocked at how in an instant I can get SO upset thinking about how time will rob her of that sweet innocence, and how I can't bear the thought of her never being 3 yrs old ever again, or how someday she'll want to leave me, and how one day I'll have to share her with boys-and eventually a spouse....and yet it's ok, because she'll always be mine, for ever and ever and ever and ever!!!

4+1 little Liam

As usual with each pregnancy, I finally eek out a belly picture at the beginning of the end...meaning, I finally rounded the bend in to the third trimester, and have officially declared it acceptable to countdown in weeks now instead of months!!! I now declare that I have 9 weeks left (that's based on the hopes that he'll come a healthy 3 weeks early like Owen!) If I say I have 12 weeks (which would fall on my due date) that could be counted as 3 months and THAT my friends sounds completely and utterly unacceptable! 

 I haven't chronicled this pregnancy as well as I did the other two so for my record keeping here's a short rundown...

Top 5 things that I've hated this pregnancy:

1: Feeling overly tired and depressed for an extended period of time, causing serious grouchiness, lazy mothering and an overwhelming sense of gloom and darkness

2: Not feeling like I wanted to be pregnant or wanted another baby anytime soon (can we say HUGE guilt and depression for the last 6 months)

3: Eh....intense and painful issues from previous birthing damage, and other issues stemming from last years gall bladder surgery, and old back injuries

4: Thinking I was going to have a girl for 5 months, only to find out that we're having a Liam instead of an Emersyn (which was my girl name)

5: Feeling hormonally out of control, a complete mean mom, and horrible nasty wife...what a horrible feeling to literally be able to feel something "off" in your body and mind that you can't control, but can only dim with supplements and medication

Top 5 things that I've loved this pregnancy:

1: To this day I have yet to throw up!!! Not even from having the flu (knock on wood) with Carter I had the stomach flu and pneumonia just before I had her...with Owen I had the stomach flu and then bronchitis right be fore I had him...So I'm feeling quite fortunate that neither myself....OR my children OR my husband have had any sicknesses during this years nasty cold and flu season!!!

2: Having fun conversations with Carter about baby Liam growing in my tummy, hearing her tales of growing a puppy in her tummy,  and debating over names with her for her new brother....watching Owen go from testosterone angry little man to a sweet puddle of smiles when he sees a tiny little baby!

3: Although I feel as huge as I look, I still feel absolutely beautiful, in thanks especially to John, who's eyes can never tell a lie, and when he embraces me, rubs my belly and tells me I'm beautiful and sexy to him, there's undeniable truth sparkling in those eyes!

4: Finally at 29 weeks feeling a complete and utterly sugary sweet oozing of excitement and joy over adding another little one to our family (wowza, those hormones are SCARY the first 2 trimesters)

5: Feeling little Liam wiggle and squirm, knowing that as the days tick by, he's active safe and sound, CAN NOT wait to see his sweet face, and nuzzle his peachy little cheeks with my nose!!! We've had too many friends and family experience tragedy and loss during pregnancy for me not to feel on edge, therefore I feel EXTREMELY blessed, and quite frankly LUCKY that things have always gone relatively smoothly and well.

Love my babies...sassy pants, angry man child tantrums and all, life wouldn't be as sweet if they weren't here and mine!

We're sure getting excited for little Liam Craig Hansen to arrive, thankfully the naming process has gotten easier with each baby...we joke that Owen Luke was named after the Wilson brother's, Owen and Luke, because we love their movies so much...so of course it was fitting that we settle on Liam Craig, because John thinks Liam Neeson is a stud, and I think Daniel Craig (Bond) is a SUPER stud!!! Actually we chose the name before we thought of the connections, same as with Owen but we get a chuckle out of it...doesn't every kid go through a "Why did you name me ________" phase? I liked the name Walker for a boy, but John couldn't stomach answering that question with "Because we're suckers for Chuck Norris jokes, and thought we should name you after his most famous character...Walker Texas Ranger" Hahaha! I still love the name Walker though...I think I picked up that one from a western romance novel :)

I love to watch my children interact (when they're not fighting!) and watch them grow together as siblings, it brings back many memories, and much joy from my own childhood. When I was pregnant with Owen I couldn't fathom how I could love another child as much as I did Carter....now I think how empty life would be without that extra love and joy he's brought into our family (along with much frustration and exhaustion!) and I know it will only increase and be more glorious and grand with Liam!!!

Jourggling...

So many cute things to post today, the vocabulary and thought process of an almost 4 yr old sure make for some entertaining memories, definitely worth jourggling about....how do you like that new fancy word I've made up??? Jourggling: Meaning to journal in blog form....if I say I'm "blogging" I feel like I have to be a professional that advertises or claims some expertise or something or other...but if I say I'm "journaling" well that seems like a chore that will never get done and never end....so I'm JOURGGLING!!!!

I'm pretty sure I have one of the funniest almost 4 yr olds on earth...I love to sit and ask her questions, and anxiously await her sometimes creative....sometimes logical...sometimes analytical and sometimes silly answers!!! The other day I noticed her sucking on her finger, and then shoving it up her nose....when asked why she was doing this....her reply: "So I can put water on my boogies, and make them soft so I can get them out.....see I can't (insert strong sniff) sniff it down so it has to come out"....I've never thought to try it, but hey...sounds logical...just might work!

Later that day we looked through an Ensign magazine that was all about temples...we talked about why he have them, why we go to them, how special we feel there, and how beautiful they are...of course we talked about getting married there and I explained in short the process of kneeling at the altar with the boy you really love and how you have to repeat some words and then you can kiss the boy and everyone there is so happy for you....she promptly got a terrified and semi repulsed look on her face, and angrily said "That is too scary for me?"...I tried to talk to her about what was too scary but she shut down...I approached the subject again later....to find out that she doesn't like to kiss boys and that it's icky!!!....awwww.....atta girl! You just keep that attitude for another 20 yrs or so! Of course, she couldn't be convinced that some day she would really want to kiss them and would like it ta-boot!!!

Every day Carter gets up at the crack of dawn....slowly now I've noticed a set pattern of funny rituals that she follows out each and every morning...lets just say this kids really likes routine and things done her way...first of all she goes potty, while in the bathroom she climbs up on the toilet to reach a shelf which up until recently held my few expensive and sentimental pieces of jewelry....well, she would take my jewels out or a little box and replace it with her cheap plastic ones...I would remove hers and put mine back that were always sitting on the counter waiting for me...until one day they were not waiting for me...after a slight interrogation she was able to promptly find my missing jewels in her room....I learned my lesson, they're now WAY up and out of sight even....HOWEVER there's one jewelry ritual I've let continue and it cracks me up EVERY MORNING...it's the BEST way to start my day.......when I awaken and slowly haul my fat pregnant and groggy self up the stairs to the bathroom...I'm greeted by this silly, slight of 4 yr old hand.....

....."Carter" I say....."were you playing with my earrings this morning?"....her reply.... "Um....(insert silly mischievous grin)...yes Mommy"....I say "I thought I asked you not to touch my jewels (although these are cheap, they are my fave, and I wear them every day)".....she says... "well, I just like them like that because now one is like a girl and one is like a boy".......

Do you see it??? The "girl" and the "boy"...the fuzzy picture is bad, but you get the point, by turning the earring back around it becomes a beautiful dress for a one legged princess!!! BAHAHAHA!!! It's our silly little morning ritual that melts my heart! 

 I don't have much on Owen today, except that the closer he gets to his second birthday which is only a month and a half away (WHATTT???) he amazes me with these bursts of development....he's grown so tall, although not any more proportionate to his BIG head...he's learning to be a big boy, and try to say words and talk to people instead of yelling and hitting all of the time...he's eager to sleep in a twin bed rather than a crib (but he still likes being caged and sleeps well, so for now he stays put...at least until he figures how to climb out!)....and although they have a love hate relationship he really loves to play with "Thissy"....and gets so sad now that......

 Sissy gets to go to preschool, from 10:30- 2 Monday through Thursday!!!

Today was her first day, we signed her up at the preschool across the street mid-year because after telling myself "She gets one more year of preschool, we'll just wait till next year"...I realized that the little big girl needed something special, just for her that made her feel big, important and special!!! We were going to put her in dance or gymnastics, but money goes fast and this preschool is free!!!

 We decided to take a few traditional first day of school photos, of course brother just HAD to be in a few! Look and this girls happy, excited, twinkly shining face!!! She was so grown up and brave about going to school, I think she could have quite confidently walked herself across the street, marched into the classroom and jumped right in...when we dropped her off she gave me a kiss and then off she went...the teacher reported she was a little hesitant for a while, but eased in, and was SUCH a GOOD GIRL!!! I couldn't be more proud....I didn't think I'd have a moment of..."golly, I'm leaving my baby girl with strangers for almost 4 hours" but I did, and silly me... the scariest part...leaving her in the midst of kids who could be mean and break her little heart...thankfully she has 4 or 5 friends that she knows from church and the neighborhood in class, so I knew she'd be fine!

Just kid stuff...

Well, the post title says it all....it's just kid stuff! Somehow I've lost the Word document journal that I've been keeping for the kids since they were each born....I'm going CRAZY trying to figure out what happened to it, knowing that there used to be a copy of each journal on each computer, OOOOOOOOH....I'm SO MAD! More like completely heartbroken....so until, or if I ever discover its whereabouts I'm going to try and pick up kid journaling on the blog every now and again....I've already missed so much that I won't be able to recall since the last entry on their old journals...So SAD!!!

All about my Carter Grace

 Well miss Carter, you're now 3 1/2 yrs old and spunky as ever. You're super healthy and active, you're most content playing by yourself deep in some imaginative play...most of the time the characters in your head are acted out by stuffed animals or dolls from around the house...you LOVE to collect random things like rocks, beads, twigs and coins...I find your "collections" ALL over the house in ALL sorts of containers like your tea pot, dresser drawers and play purses....your favorite dress up right now is your crown and wand, and you LOVE to wear the cross necklace that Aunt Kathy gave you...you love it so much, that for safe keeping you put in in a tiny blue velvet bag with drawstrings, and hung it around the neck of our Jesus statuette that is on the book shelf in the living room....gee I can't think of a safer place for such a valuable possession either!!!

In just one year you've gone from being stone cold to people to being the most flittering, fluttering social butterfly, when we walk into church you start saying " Mom, I need to go say hi to Bishop"... "Mom I need to go say hi to Tyson"....and on and on and on.....you've warmed up to almost EVERYONE in the ward, and you LOVE to say hello to each of them....even when church is starting and we have to sit in our bench you wave your hand and yell to say hello to someone!!! Just tonight you walked right up to a cashier at Safeway and said "Hi, my name is Carter"....WOW, you're such a brave girl and really learning your manners and how to make new friends, you certainly never hesitate to try to engage other kids on the playground or at church!

Your talking better and better, and making use of full sentences, of which you've been doing for a while, right now we're working on saying things like "Yes I am" instead of "Yes I'm are"...you're generally very obedient and quick to help, your job is to always empty the silverware bin from the dishwasher and you do it well, I think it's time to start giving you more chores! Lately you've become quite sassy, and have learned words like stupid and hate...and of course those lovely phrases shut up, no way, leave me alone and you make me mad/sad...you've become very emotional in the last few months, I'm not sure if it's because Daddy is SO busy and you miss him, or if we're entering another stage of girly development (I should know right? Since I'm a girl and all!) But you baffle me! At times I think I must be emotionally scarring you for life they way your respond to things, half of the time your fake cries and pleas for time alone give you away as just that...a fake! However you are very tender hearted, you aim to please and unless you're super tired, you're very kind and loving....it's been hard watching you branch out socially with kids, and have to muddle through disagreements and having your feelings hurt, but we do our best to help you understand and give you more social tools to help you learn and grow...you're a great student at everything, and are always eager to learn new things!!!

In quite moments while we snuggle, especially while you sleep...I LOVE to just study your face, you're SO beautiful and growing and maturing SO fast...I am starting to see more of myself in you, it makes me feel somehow even more connected to you....I'm SO proud to be your mom...loving you and your siblings and raising you all with everything I have will be the greatest thing I ever do!

All about my Owen Boy AKA Owen Beast 

Oh my...where to begin! From the moment we found out you were a boy, clear up to now you continue to surprise us! I never realized how innate the differences between boys and girls are...granted you have your own unique personalities no matter gender, but here are a few classic "boy" things that you have down like a pro: 

Anger and aggression: from about 8 months on you've been angry at the world, angry at mom and dad and angry at your sister and yourself....you get angry when you're hungry, angry when you're tired, angry when you bonk, trip or fall, angry when Sis even walks towards you, angry when mom has to get something done, angry to get your shoes and clothes on, angry to get them taken off, you get angry when you can't have what you want, and angry when you can't get where you want to go....you hit to make your point, butt heads to play and prove more points, you throw balls at peoples faces (and have really good aim and a strong arm ta-boot!) You grab your sister and push and pull, you hit mom and dad when you're mad, you attach yourself to my pant leg and pull and tug until you get what you want....HOWEVER you seem to be able to keep all of this in check when we're at church, at someone else's house or when we're in public.

Climbing Daredevil: Although you started out slow, not crawling until you were 11 mo's old, and not walking until 17 mo's old...you've made up for lost time, you run, prance, dance and gallop ALL about the house...you climb on the back of the couch and stand strait up...yes you fall off and even get your big head wedged between the sliding glass door and the couch...you try to do all sorts of acrobatic moves that will probably leave you with brain damage and broken bones.....I FULLY expect you to be the child with a new broken limb each year...you've now mastered using a stool to get at what you want, as well as the baseboard heaters, the dolls house, play chairs and dining room chairs, you don't hesitate to climb on top of the table or anything ELSE for that matter, and I'm pretty sure once you figure it out you'll be in the top cupboards, and be the kid that finds the Christmas presents in the top of our closet every year!

The Italian Fiesta de Navidad

Well, it's no secret and probably one of my favorite things about my family and Christmas time...we're ITALIAN through and through, LOUD, PROUD, lovers of food, fun and family....every Christmas Eve we have a GINORMOUS pan of homemade lasagna, eat until we bust and then cuss and discuss as Italians will do....well, you can imagine my chagrin when I was told that this year we were having a Feliz Navidad...una fiesta grande...meaning instead of that precious lasagna we were going to take our hand at homemade tamales and enchiladas...everything homemade right down to the sauces and salsas...although I do delight in Mexican food....my heart was aching and crying out for Grandma's lasagna....(Insert weeping and wailing).....Whatever, I went along with it without too much stink because I was exhausted and in this terrible pregnant hormonal funk, that had transformed me into a slug.....

Well, it all came together, was absolutely delicious, and true to my family's tradition was a loud, proud, and fun evening full of duets and caroling, the excited chatter of little ones, present giving, game playing, good eating, pure exhaustion and joy!!!

 My sister Brook and Nephew Parker practiced duets and performed quite well!

 My brother in law Randall bringing in an old tradition from his family, a bag of gag gifts that Santa leaves on the porch to add to the evening fun! The children waited in eager patience!

 Santa knew Great Grandpa DePiazza (the giver of the Italian genes in the family!) Needed some new glasses....I swear, this fella gets funnier and funnier the older he gets...he wore them proudly through the evening (either that or he's so old, he just forgot they were on!)

 Santa knew Owen had recently discovered a love for trains!!!

 After a very late bedtime, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse....and Santa came sneaking right in to Nana's house....

 He drank all of the milk, ate a cookie real quick, filled stockings with goodies, left presents... then SPLIT!!! 

 Oooogling with mommy, while waiting for Owen to wake up!

 Owen could have cared less about opening presents...he ALWAYS wakes up SUPER hungry, so all he wanted to do was eat....and after his foil and chocolate snack, he remained angry through opening presents until we could have breakfast!

 I think next year I'm not even going to buy my children presents...all of the Nana's and Papa's are always so generous....and know just what we need and want....THANK YOU!!!

 Such a good Daddy to play princess barbies!

 Well don't you fear, I did get my lasagna after all...Christmas day we went over to my Grandma's house and visited, ate delicious food, and played games!

Carter took a moment to try on Great Grandma D's reading glasses....quite the look I'd say!

 Owen LOVES Great Grandpa D, they laughed and played a lot together!!!

 Owen taking a turn, sitting on the stool to sing the "ABC's"...he can't really sing it all, but there's a few utterances that sound just right, and he does get pretty close to the tune!

 My favorite moment of the day....my kids getting to enjoy the soft cuddly lap of Great Grandma D, while watching cartoons....I wish I was still small enough to fit on her lap without breaking her! I did get some good hugs, but man I sure do miss those days when I was younger...Grandma's just make everything better!

Catching up is hard to do...

When I started this blog 3 years ago, I had such grand ideas that this was my ticket to finally getting into a regular routine of journaling....well clearly the "regular" part has been an epic fail...but I do treasure re-reading past posts... I forget that many of those memories are tucked back in my brain, and voila reading our family journal brings it all flooding back!!! 

I think sometimes I'm so bad at posting because I feel like nothing exciting or blog worthy goes on in our lives...being a tired pregnant mom, at home with 2 kids gets quite mundane...who wants to read about that right???...Well I've decided that I do, because all to fast these days will be gone, and filled with school schedules and homework, sports games, bratty teenagers, choir concerts, student driving, dating and much more that I'm sure we'll be completely unprepared for!!!

So for now, I'm quite content with remembering Owen as the silly 18 mo old stunt man, who tosses that big noggin of his around, falls off of the back of the couch regularly and turns the foot rest into a slide so he can perform neck snapping daring deeds as such..... 

 And I'm content to remember LONG winter days gone wrong with cabin fever...turned right by a silly 3 yr old, who thinks changing her clothes 5 times a day is SO much fun, who loves being "Dora Spiderman" the superhero who's lifelong goal is to terminate "Owen Beast", and who LOVES Ariel SO much, that even when it's snowing outside...has to wear her swimsuit and crown so she can be a princess who swims underwater....***Note the breath holding, fish lips to illustrate swimming underwater***

I'm content remembering my husband as a hard working student, who juggles the demands of family, school and work quite well, as a man WHO LOVES his family, and because of his school schedule actually gets to see his small children develop and grow with a frequency that many men in a traditional 9-5 schedule don't get...

 I'm content remembering LONG LONG days of being exhausted with early pregnancy, and feeling my body undergo construction MUCH earlier than I recall with the other two....someday my kids will ask me what it was like being pregnant with them, how I felt, what I craved...already I forget some specifics of my first just 4 short years ago...what's going to happen to those memories in ten or twenty years??? Makes me want to cry....I know some will get tucked away, and other memories will get replaced with new ones..but these early years are so precious to me, and when I'm old and gray and possibly all alone...I want EVERY SINGLE MEMORY to keep me company at night, to warm my heart and fill my soul with peace.

Watermelon Feet Make a Tasty Treat

Of course today has been hot, but thankfully hovering in the 80's rather than the 90's..well what's better than a little left over watermelon from lunch to cool a person of.....not much, except for maybe an Otter Pop!!!

Sometimes I wonder if my children are the only random quirky ones mucking about.....Carter decided her pink rocker needed to be in the kitchen of all places.....whatever I said....does it really matter....nope....just keepin the peace around here on a hot day is just about all a person can ask for!!!

 How Owen ended up as King of the Chair I don't know (I was busy sewing!)  But I look over to discover my children actually playing together sweetly, Carter the servant and Owen the big Kahuna....being hand fed left over watermelon (yikes, not looking forward to that diaper!) I just thought they looked cute, and were being so pleasant, that I should take a few pictures.......just after putting the camera down to make a quick trip to the loo.................I COME BACK TO FIND..............................

 THIS.......stinky feet that had been running barefoot outside, nestled on the fresh sweet fruit that I myself was coming back for a bite of......YUCK!!! Perhaps watermelon has the same soothing and cooling effect that cucumbers do.......maybe my daughter is trying to tell me that we need to invest in yet another fan.....regardless of her reasoning, I passed on the snack....however Owen couldn't resist......

 I really should have stopped him, but I couldn't stop laughing...and lets face it, probably not the most disgusting thing he's ever put in his mouth....or the most disgusting thing he ever will!!!!

 Oh, the mischief these two get into together!!! SOOOOO much more to come I'm sure....still haven't figured out who's going to be the usual ring leader....we shall see!!!!

"Ta, da da da da da da"

If read properly this post title (in your mind) should sound like "Ta Da" sung with the following "da's" as notes going up the scale, but said/sung SUPER fast!!! This is something Carter has done since she was about 2 ish....we don't know where she picked it up, but we LOVE it....we ALWAYS get a good chuckle from it! She did it TONS last summer over such little things that she was proud of.....she hasn't done it in a LONG time, but yesterday she let a nice loud and fast "Ta da da da da da da" rip.....I started laughing and looked around to lock eyes with John to share that "smiley eye, so in love with our daughter" look......and OH SO SAD, but not surprising....he wasn't anywhere to be found......we're coming up on the week mark of him working in Wyoming, and although we've settled in to life as the Three Musketeers....we still miss him A LOT....especially Carter.....yesterday ALL day she was SO emotional, missing daddy, wanting daddy.....

 So after bath time, I decided to pull an old trick that worked like a charm for another Daddy's girl, who although is 27 yrs old and has a precious 3 yr old daddy's girl daughter of her own...still misses her Pa somethin fierce, and just wants a nice big bear hug, or golden kisses once in a while!!! When I was young, while my Dad was out of town working he allowed me to choose one of his T-shirts to wear to bed as a night gown so I could feel close to him, it seemed to always work....Soooooo, I let Carter choose one of John's old work T-shirts to wear to bed...of course she chose the "Ice Cream" shirt, once it was pulled over her head she proudly, loudly and quickly exclaimed "Ta da da da da da da da!" SO wish I could have shared that moment with John!

 As most nights, we killed a little time being silly, giving Owen a mo-hawk....dancing on Mommy's bed to the alarm clock radio....making funny faces and silly noises....tickling and giggling, and singing into the fan (come on you know you all still love that distorted fan voice)!!! We just wait, wait, wait and wait some more for the house to cool down, and the sun to fade so that the little people will settle down and comfortably fall asleep!!!

 Owen was passing out kisses....he still does the open mouth slobber kiss, which grosses Carter out so she forces his mouth shut by pinching his jaw closed....thankfully Owen finds it to be a great game and doesn't complain!!! We're all surviving quite well with John out of town....the first day or so are emotionally rough, and hard to get back into daily routine....but everyone has leveled out now.....unfortunately just in time for him to make a quick appearance and upset the apple cart again (we wouldn't trade our precious time with him though!) It feels like Summer is dragging on with him gone, but maybe it's this crazy thick and sticky heat that makes everything move in slow motion.....at least when I look at a calendar I'm shocked to realize we only have 6 weeks left of our "Summer"....ahhh, the life of college students...everything is defined by when school starts and ends....at least we get Labor Day weekend right after school starts, perhaps a camping trip will be in order!!!

Mud Makeup Mug

Today was such a HOT day, if I hadn't already planned to take the kids to Lewiston to Home Depot and Costco, we would have found some water to splash in, but alas, a trip to the "Pizza Store" AKA Costco was promised and much anticipated by one little girl! When we got home Carter and our neighbor friend Halli played outside while I cleaned the front room, the girls popped in and out of the house for more popsicles...etc.....when you hear "Look, we have make up on"......be prepared to see this!

 The girls had made a bowl of mud, and were painting "makeup" on each others faces....to top it off, they decided a little chalk drawn on the body here and there was a nice touch too!!! I just had to laugh....and GROAN...because the kids had baths last night....but oh well, I remember having glorious summer days as such....you know it's been s fun day when there's a bathtub full of dirt, and a pile of laundry  waiting for Mom to deal with at the end of the day!

 Daddy had a chance to call us amid the mud makeup episode....can you see on that muddy little mug, the sad little girl who misses her daddy SO much....the first day or so after he leaves she carries on like normal...then she gets sassy, whiny and very emotional over EVERYTHING....day 3 she's finally able to verbalize that she misses Daddy, only wants Daddy, doesn't like Mommy...etc.......hopefully we'll make it over the hump soon.....only then to have it all upset again when he comes home, oh well such is life!

 OH, that muddy mug makes me want to cry, what a sad and serious little lady...

 Owen misses John when he's gone too, there's NO mistaking his excitement when he gets to hear Daddy's voice on the phone, his face lights up, he gets a big jaw dropped toothy grin, and actually....can you believe it....for a moment...he is silent.....he's SPEECHLESS!!!

Fortunately for me, he's a little less emotional, and carries on as normal every day....case in point....crazy little climbing man child! He's now mastered climbing on the couches, getting on and off trikes, etc...climbing up me (rock climbing style or monkey style...you know dig in the toes, cling and swing!)He's mastered falling off the couch and my bed with grace and minimal crying, he's mastered pulling sister's hair, kicking her, pushing her, throwing toys at her head and annoying her by turning the tv on and off....and thankfully.....sweetfully.....mercifully.....he's mastered giving Mamma kisses and hugs!!!!

Dear Daddy...

I suppose I should begin by explaining the title to this post "Dear Daddy..." well, John is off and running on another adventure....or I guess just continuing on the same unorganized and unpredictable path that employment as a research technician has taken him! After we got back from Boise, we waved goodbye as he left for a weeks worth of work in Bonner's Ferry (3 hrs north), well, that was short lived because the river was at flood stage and they couldn't accomplish what they needed, so we were surprised to find him home 3 days later (just as we were kinda gettin used to being the 3 Musketeers with him gone) 10 o'clock that night his phone rings, and he's set back in motion re-packing to go help another research project move along in Cascade (4 hrs south)...well, he's really gone this time for two solid weeks, up in the mountains where he doesn't get cell service, and they work such long hours that he literally has NO time to drive down the mountain to call us :( We're missing him something fierce, but I think he's missing us more; away from the comfort of home, the soft giggles and snuggles of little children, home cooked meals and the lovin companionship of a wife (the cold hard ground aint to invitin after a long day of work!)SOOOOOOO even though we can't talk now, we will get a chance, but I KNOW I'll forget SOOOO many adorable, wonderful and even frustrating things that he missed out on, that I normally would talk and laugh with him about, and counsel with him on....So I've decided every few days to post about the latest goings on at our house, SO when he's back he can read all about it and hopefully know how much he's loved and was missed!!!

Dear Daddy....yesterday we went for a walk downtown to the farmers market....we had fun peeking in the booths, smelling fresh flowers and visiting the rattlesnake at the gem shop, we wanted to watch him get fed, but they feed him on Fridays now because he gets stage fright on Saturdays with SO many people around.....we had a nice afternoon napping and reading books, before dinner we took Travis out to get your truck, and then went to get groceries, after dinner we had a nice long bath and then snuggled up on the camo mat to watch "Tooth Fairy 2" that we rented from the library, it was a funny movie that Mommy and Carter really liked....Owen just crawled around like a crazy man throwing toys at our heads!

Today we went to church, Carter wore her new pink flower dress that Grandma Debbie picked out for her, she looked like a princess! Tonight Carter and Owen got to play at Grandma Gail's so that Mommy could go to choir practice (what a nice little break for Mom!!!) These pictures are from tonight, we wanted to show you how good we were for Mommy when we brushed out teeth....can you see what good tooth brushers we are??? And what fun too!!!!

 Owen is getting better at actually brushing his teeth, and tried to do it just like Mom or Carter, he's quite proud of himself.... if you can't tell by the smirk on his face! Carter is really good at it too, so obedient and careful to make sure we can hear the "chh chhh shhh chhh shhh" sound while she brushes!!! (Can you hear her sweet little voice saying "Look at me Mommy....watch me Mommy"...?

 2 Posers....one silly as always(when posing) and one sitting quite properly to have his picture taken while he says " Eeeeee e e eee e"!!!

 Concentrating really hard......

 SO PROUD!!! "YEA, I'm a BIG BOY!"

 Not one to be left out....Sis insisted on her own personal mini photo shoot!!!

Everyone is starting to settle back down and adjusting to you being gone again (not that we like it, or that it's easy....just adjusting)...we hear Travis pull in in the truck....I know you're not there, but I still look anyways (I don't know if we can sell that thing, the soft rumble of that sweet ride pulling in puts me to peace, and starts me thinking on a lot of great memories!!!)....I really missed hearing your voice singing in sacrament today...I missed watching your sweet smile and eyes light up when I got into the car all primped and ready for church....I missed hearing a comment about the vanilla lotion I put on....and I missed cooking Sunday dinner for you, and lazily lounging about our house watching fishing movies while the children napped......it's glorious to put the kids to bed, but then I realize I'm really alone....I pace the house looking for something to occupy me, but nothing works, i'm exhausted and try to sleep but I just toss and turn...I make a nest out of pillows to try to feel snuggled that's not working either....sleeping on my side of the bed is just plain lonely, so I try the middle for a while, then end up on your side sniffing your scent on your pillow...but eventually end up back on my side because there's easier access to the bathroom.....and then it all starts over again...it's hot  and muggy and I want to open the window, but I feel vulnerable, so I opt for the fan to move the air around but then I get cold and don't have you to snuggle with to keep me warm.......I sleep with the phone by my bed in case of emergencies, but mainly because I hope and pray that you'll get a moments time to find cell service so you can call me....I just want to hear your voice....remember when we were engaged and apart how we would run out of things to talk about and I would just make you stay on the line so I could hear you breath.....SO many times I'd fall asleep just listening to you, feeling close to you.....I know it's silly but I just want to listen to you breathe...to know you're there....that you're alive and well....I know I don't really need to worry, but I have an odd panicked feeling, like I've been completely cut off from you without any say in the matter (well, that's kind of what happened, even though not really!)

I just want you to know that although I miss being able to share the kid duties with you...etc....there are more important and personal things that are being missed....it's funny, the only thing I can think of to say is from Jerry Maguire...... "You complete me"....what a cliche I know, but so true...you complete me physically, you complete me emotionally and you complete me spiritually....you are my PB and I am your J!!!! We love you and miss you!

Love your little family...The 3 Musketeers

Just a bit of this and that....

While John is up north working for the summer, my goal is to take at least one picture each day to keep Daddy connected and in the loop on the home front happenings.....Carter loves to wear her "Reindeer hat" just like Dad...(it's actually a pink and camouflage hat that has a cute little doe on it wearing high heels but hey, that's practically a reindeer right?!) And Owen of course hates feeling left out of the hat party, so Sis decided that he should wear Daddy's hat!!!

 Of course he thinks that he's SUPER HOT STUFF, and the FUNNIEST DUDE EVER!!! (this is pretty much his 24/7 attitude, except for when he's just being an angry little man!)

 When I'm in single mom mode I must craft to keep my sanity...today's project of choice....sewing a sturdy library bag for Carter (who by the way picked out the very cute popsicle  fabric, too bad the picture makes the straps look so off color...boo...oh well! It still needs some embellishments, but it holds our 50lbs worth of library books and movies like a champ!!!

 The monogram wreath is from a while ago, but every time I look at it I get a giddy smile...I don't know why but the simplicity and colors just make me happy!!!

Today Carter got to have some fun playing with her two fave BF'sF...she came home for a short break demanding that she get her "princess pack pack" what I gather from her jumbled 3 yr old excitement is that she and the two boys were playing that they were going to school....at random "bad guys" would jump out to  get them and then the kids would collectively apprehend the villains by using various martial arts moves.....let me tell you this three year old has got some serious MOVES! She practices daily on her brother yelling "HI-YAH" and fake karate chopping his head, leg, arm or any other body part that's available....I just have to laugh, I love to see the tom boy in her come out, all while she prances with her princess back pack and sleeping beauty ring on (of which she sleeps with nightly!) 

 She really wanted me to take her picture with her back pack on outside....these photos just about break my heart, she looks like she's headed out for her first day of school...NNNNNOOOOOOOOO!!!! I can't even bring myself to sign her up for preschool this year because I just want her home with me...which is where at least for this year I feel like she needs to be (she has two preschool years before kindergarten so maybe next year.......maybe....maybe not) 

On a funny note....today after briefly seeing the above mentioned friends (before getting to play with them) Carter hounded me for HOURS saying that she doesn't like me (I know she knows this makes me sad even though I understand she's just three....but boy does she like to push that button!) So she says "I don't like you mom....I just love my Dad John, Bekah and Twabis (that's Bekah and Travis our friends AKA the parents of her friends)....I just need to go to Twabis's house mom!) ....I told her that it makes me sad when she says that and that it's not kind....I said "It breaks Mommy's heart"....she immediately looks down at her chest and says "My heart's not broken....see, it's right here!" HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

Later, while drying her off after a bath, I must have scrubbed the towel on her too hard, she got all pouty faced, clutched her chest and said "Mom you just broke my heart, see...it really hurts me right here"....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! TOO CUTE...except that a traditional female melt down with excessive water works followed.....some days I feel like she's thirteen instead of three....who knew the female and her mysterious hormonal swings started this young? Probably anyone who's ever raised a daughter!!!